Maybe you don’t feel obligated or stuck in “having” to give, but you also never thought about the value of your love, and what it really means to those who receive the gift of your love.
When you give something (your time, your love, your affection, your caring, etc.) that you don’t think has any value, one of two things happens. Either:
- The other person receives your “gift” without any acknowledgement of its value, and you feel taken for granted and diminished (but also somehow, on some level, “proven right”)
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or
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- The other person truly appreciates your love, your time, your affection, etc. – in which case you feel baffled (you might think to yourself, “Why is she making such a big deal about that?” Or you might literally say to the other person, “It was nothing, really!“ – and you honestly believe that!)
Either way, when you minimize the worth of the love you give, either out loud or in your own head, you are not showing yourself that you are lovable and worthwhile. I am asking you to please take a moment, right now, to really look at this and start to shift it.
I want you to FEEL the value of what you give – to really feel it, maybe for the first time. I want to walk you through a short practice designed to plant the seed of self-acknowledgment in your body, mind and spirit. It’s one that if you repeat it on a regular basis will have that seed sprout, grow into a flourishing blossom, and keep blooming inside you for a lifetime.
The first step, of course, is to stop…breathe…and focus!
Allow yourself to sit with this new awareness, by stating the following declaration out loud (NOTE: if you’re in a public place and need to say it silently, that’s fine too. Just remember to repeat the practice later when you can engage your vocal chords and really belt it out!).
“I am a valuable and worthwhile person, and therefore when I give of myself I am giving something of true value and worth.”
Take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel more fully the truth of this statement. Say it again, and just let the feelings flow through you.
Does it resonate as true? Or something you’d like to believe? No judgment, just information about what is true for you right now in this moment. There’s no pressure, or need, to change however it really is for you at any given moment. Just let the process work its magic. New beliefs take time to feel “normal” as you move from less-than-positive feelings about yourself to a healthier and more positive view of who you really are.
Say the declaration again, as powerfully and confidently as you can, so you not only hear it with your own ears, but also feel the words come out of your mouth.
“I am a valuable and worthwhile person, and therefore when I give of myself I am giving something of true value and worth.”
Remember that it takes 28 days to make a habit, and loving yourself is a habit worth cultivating! Allow this statement to be your mantra this week. Say it aloud, dozens of times, each and every day. Then repeat the process for three additional weeks. Add to this self-acknowledging statements that recognize specific things you are doing for others. Give yourself credit for even the smallest kind gesture – leaving out any words like “small” when you describe them, of course. In the realm of giving of oneself, every offering counts equally.
Do this for the next four weeks, and you’ll be amazed what a difference it will make in how you feel about yourself.
In order for this message to feel normal and comfortable you need to make it a regular part of your life. Creating positive self-esteem requires going through the feelings of discomfort that come with a new belief that may feel like a “lie” at first. Don’t worry about it, just keep the process going.
You are clearing out the old negative messages that have held you back, bogged you down or created a feeling of powerlessness in your life.
Today and going forward, own the message: “I am a valuable and worthwhile person and therefore when I give of myself I am giving something of true value and worth. As I give to others in my life, I lovingly give the same to myself and receive it as something to which I am entitled. I, myself, am worthy of love, and deserve just as much as anyone else.”
Remember, Who You Are Is Enough, and Your Love Is A Gift. As you learn to love yourself fully and completely, this message will feel not only natural and normal, but also uplifting and empowering.
Finish your practice session by declaring, “My love is a gift…” Feel the warmth of this truth flow freely through you as you take another slow, deep breath. Just allow yourself to sit with this feeling. Stay with it, and don’t dismiss it. Just breathe slowly and deeply. End the session by finishing the sentence, “…and I am as deserving of my love and affection as the people in my life.”
You, yourself, deserve your love and affection! Bask in it, feel the gratitude for who you are and all the love you give to the world. You are valuable!
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