Last week’s article was about nurturing your positive self-image, trusting your instincts in identifying your most passionately desired outcomes, and consciously managing any fear-based thoughts that would try to take you off course. No small task, as you’ve probably noticed!
However, the tyranny of doubts, fears and self-limiting beliefs is just the half of what makes it hard to turn new behaviors into habits. The second half is handling other people’s real-time reactions to your new, just-formed behaviors.
It may come as a surprise, but changing old, ineffective behaviors is not just challenging for you; experience has shown that it also can be more than a bit disconcerting for the people closest to you. Be aware that, just as you have gotten used to behaving a certain way, the people in your life have come to know and expect these attitudes and behaviors from you as well.
If you have spent most of your life “going along” with whatever your significant connections want, and now you’ve suddenly realized you can speak up and express your opinions, this will cause some upheaval! If, on the other hand, you’ve been demanding and rigid, and now you realize that there’s room for everyone else’s opinions and desires too…well, let’s just say you may be met with some skepticism, mistrust and even disbelief.
One thing is certain: How you choose to respond to others’ reactions to your new behaviors will make all the difference for your forward momentum and progress.
What will you do when the people closest to you question and challenge you? How will you stay connected to your greater good, and your desired outcome? The pressure to give up the changes you’re making and go back to the way you’ve been, in order to quell others’ discomfort, can be enormous, so you need to be prepared in advance!
Unless you can stay strongly connected to your desired outcomes – and your new belief in yourself that “who you are is enough!” and all that that statement entails – you’ll find yourself falling back into your old behavioral habits.
For this week’s practice, I want you to choose one behavior that you believe you need or that you want to incorporate into your life that will reinforce the belief, “Who I Am Is Enough.” It may be speaking up, being less defensive, being more generous, being more relaxed, etc. Just choose one behavior that reflects your most positive sense of yourself.
Take your time considering your alternatives, and what each new behavioral habit would provide in your life to boost your self-esteem. Make some notes about your thought process, and why each option is important to you. By the time I unveil a process this time next week for implementing the change and holding your ground in the face of others’ objections, I want you to be very clear about why changing the behavior you’ve chosen will make a powerful difference in your self-esteem…and life!
I wish you a thought-provoking and inspiring inquiry! Until next week….
Loren
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